A weekend away

The 4 of us recently spent the weekend at Tamatsukuri Hot Springs, about an hour away from home. H's younger brother got married that week but didn't have a ceremony, so the 2 families gathered for the weekend at a traditional resort to celebrate and get to know each other.

The ryokan (traditional Japanese hotel) we stayed at was quite big and very fancy. The entranceway (pictured below) overlooked a lovely garden and there was a roof-top open-air bath as well as the 'ordinary' hot spring baths on the ground floor. H's brother had said that it would be a casual weekend, but I knew that his parents would ignore that and dress quite formally, so I didn't want to turn up in jeans. For the boys I appliqued matching neck-ties onto plain T-shirts for a bit of smart-casual fun. K is very proud of his ability to hop and stand on one leg lately, hence the Long John Silver pose...



In the evening we ate dinner in a huge banqueting hall, rather over-the-top for our party. The happy couple sat at the head of the room, in front of the gold screen, and the 2 families sat in lines facing each other. It's a typical setting for this type of party, but not really very good for getting to know each other I think. H's brother is the youngest of 3 brothers and his wife is the youngest of 3 sisters. All the elder siblings are married and have at least 2 children each, so it was quite a lively get-together. Oh, look, there's H's dad in a grey suit and his mum (only half in the shot) in a black lace dress - I knew it!

In traditional fashion our meal was served on individual tables and brought out little by little, although not in 'courses' in a Western sense. There was sashimi, crab, steak, deep-fried goodies cooked in the room in front of us and all kinds of little dishes of who-knows-what. This photo is of K's meal - I think he got the best deal actually, especially as he got an adult portion of crab from his allergic cousin.

Once the meal was over, the children enjoyed running riot around the room, and I was happy to let H's mum be on T duty for a while...

After taking the waters, it was time for bed. The hotel provided yukata, light-weight cotton kimono for wearing around the hotel and as pyjamas. They even had K-sized ones...

While we were downstairs, the maids laid out the futons for us. H had a headache and soon fell asleep. K and T, however, were very excited and didn't settle for a long time. It was the first time for T to spend the night out of the confines of his cot and he continued to explore the room long after K had fallen asleep. Actually, I fell asleep before him too! I woke up a few times during the night, and found T fast asleep in a completey different place every time. I got up first in the morning, while the other 3 were still asleep, and here's what I saw:

I forgot to take a good picture of the room, but it was big! The screens in the top-right of the photo above opened onto a view of the gardens. It was a corner room and behind me, as I took this picture, was a small seating area in front of windows overlooking the town. There was a full bathroom, a large entranceway to the room, and a whole other small room, which we simply used to put our bags in.

Down on the ground floor there was a small courtyard in the centre of the hotel, where you could sit and dangle your feet in the hot spring water. K and I tried it out after a big breakfast, back in the banqueting hall again.

Everyone went their separate ways after check-out at 10am, but it seemed a shame just to go home. A 20 minute drive brought us to a small aquarium, mainly featuring aquatic life from the 2 nearby lakes. These lakes are actually joined to each other and finally open onto the sea, so the water in them grows increasingly salty as you head east, creating interesting and varied eco-systems.

Both K and T enjoyed looking at the fish, especially in this 'bubble-head' tank!

After lunch we drove further around the lake until we got back to Matsue. I'd heard there was a nice park there for young children so we stopped for an hour and K had a good play, before heading home again once more.

49 Days

H's grandfather passed away in the summer while we were in the UK. He was 95 years old and had been in hospital for several months, but it was nonetheless sad news to receive and it was unfortunate that we couldn't attend the funeral. Last weekend though, we went to the 49 day ceremony.

In Japan, funerals are usually held in the Buddhist style; the deceased is cremated and the ashes are kept in the home until 49 days have passed. At the end of that period a ceremony for the family is held and the ashes are placed in the family grave.

We all turned out our best formal wear, and K got his first shirt and tie...


I thought I was very organised, sending my black dress and jacket to the dry cleaners in plenty of time. Then I realised that if I wore that, I wouldn't be able to feed T... So I turned out my old black trouser suit. One of the legs needed hemming and I had to move the button a bit (ahem) but it didn't look bad for something I bought (ahem) 13 years ago.

The ceremony was held at H's grandparents' house and consisted of a Buddhist priest coming to the house and chanting in front of the altar which had been set up to hold the ashes, a photo of H's grandfather, various edible offerings and incense. We were each given a prayer book to join in, but I can never read it quick enough to keep up. After a while T started to get a bit noisy so we snuck off to another room, joining another noisy great-grandchild and her mum.

After that we all went to the graveyard, placed the urns of ashes in the grave and offered more incense. Then it was time for another little chanting session in the temple before we all, priest included, headed off for a meal together. We all ate a typical traditional Japanese meal except for K, who had the 'kid's lunch' option. I'm not sure what age of 'kid' these meals are designed for, but I suspect that a lot of adults would have had difficulty finishing this lot...

As the evening progressed everyone relaxed and enjoyed the chance for the extended family to get together. There are similar memorial services held at regular intervals in the years following a death in the family and I always think that it's a wonderful idea. The immediate sadness of a funeral has passed and instead the family can enjoy each other's company and reminisce about the person who passed away.

My favourite 'only in Japan' moment? K pouring beer for the priest...

As with all formal ceremonies in Japan, there was gift-exchanging involved. We gave an envelope of money covering the costs of our meals and a contribution to the temple fees, as well as a bit extra to round it up and be a true 'gift'. However we came home with a goodie bag containing a box of rice crackers, a box of Beatrix Potter themed sticks of sugar (perfect for offering to guests with their coffee) and a large digital clock. The clock, now sitting on our living room window ledge, is complete with date, temperature and humidity level so I can now offer you accurate weather information at any time day or night. Right now? 3:36pm, 25 degrees and 65% humidity. In other words, just about right for me...

We're back!

You may have noticed that I didn't quite manage to follow my plan to post once a week during our trip to the UK.... But, if there is still anyone actually out there reading this, I thought that you might like to know that we went, had a great time and have arrived home safely again.

We got back here on Thursday night but so far have managed little more than unpacking, laundry, going out to eat and avoiding the typhoon. We've all been hit by jet-lag and of course when the little boys don't sleep, neither do I. K is fast asleep in bed now though, so keep your fingers crossed for a good night tonight.

And as for our actual trip? Well, I do intend to show you lots of pictures and tell you all about it in excruciating detail but just in case I don't (imagine that eh?), here's a little summary...

We spent three months based at my parents' house in Cornwall, visiting lots of friends and family and showing off lovely baby T (and his big brother too of course). While we were there, H, T and I went on two little mini-holidays, to Edinburgh and to Prague, leaving K at home with his doting grandparents. We also spent a few days in Wales visiting my sister and her partner, stayed with friends near Oxford for a while, and met up with another old friend in Gloucester. We had lots of lovely days out with Mum and Dad, H and I went out for dinner together a couple of times without children, I went to my school reunion and sometimes the weather was even good enough for a barbecue! And of course there was lots of shopping: clothes, toys and books for K and T, and an extra suitcase to try and get some of it back to Japan...

Golden Weeks

Last week was Golden Week, a string of 4 public holidays in the space of a week. It's my favourite holiday time in Japan because of the weather; usually warm, sunny and great for being outside, unlike hot-and-humid summer holidays or cold-and-snowy winter ones.

This year though, we didn't really do much. We met up with several friends - a barbecue in the park one day with Cian, Yoshi and gang, visited the Oyamas in their 'new' house (which was finished at least a year ago but it was the first time we got around to going there) and met up with the Kuchitas yesterday for lunch at a new child-friendly restaurant. H has spent 3 days out in the garden staining the fence (nearly finished now!), and we had the one month ceremony and photo shoot for T. Actually, when I write it all down, it seems like quite a lot!

Anyway, I don't mind if we didn't do that much, because we will have lots more days like that this year. H is taking extended paternity leave, a very unusual thing among employed Japanese men! The rules at his office have changed since K was born; previously, a man could only take extended paternity leave if his partner was working, but now anyone can take up to a year off even if their partner is at home. I think that many men are still put off by the idea that they will be inconveniencing their colleagues and may be considered lazy (not to mention the substantial drop in pay, gulp), but H's boss reassured him that he is entitled to take this leave and he should go ahead and do it. H works hard but he also always takes all his holiday each year and generally comes home on time; definitely a work-to-live rather than live-to-work kind of guy!

So, as of Monday, H is on paternity leave and, throwing in summer holiday and annual leave too, he'll be off until the end of September! One of the reasons he's doing it (apart from the simple fact that he can) is so that we can all take a long trip to the UK together. When K was a few months old I took him to the UK for 2 months in the summer but there's no way I could manage the trip with K and T without another adult. It's the only time that H will be able to make a long trip, probably until he retires!

We've got T's British birth certificate, his passport should be ready next week and the plane tickets have been bought. We leave here on May 31st (in 3 weeks time!) and come back again on August 31st, making the most of that 3 month ticket... So if you are in the UK and would like to meet up over the summer, let me know! I'm now, very slowly, getting in touch with friends and trying to organise some get-togethers. I know that, unless I take action, even 3 whole months in the UK could easily pass in a blur of lounging on the sofa eating salt and vinegar crisps and watching The Weakest Link...

Hatsu Miya-Mairi

or, 'First Shrine Visit'.

It's traditional in Japan to take a baby to a shrine to be blessed when he or she is one month old. I suppose it's comparable to a christening or naming ceremony. We took T to our local shrine last Sunday, just as we did for K three years ago.

We called in at H's parents' house on the way, and H's mum helped me change T into his 'ceremony dress'. It's basically a christening robe, a long white frilly thing that H's mum bought when K was a baby. To me, it's a typical example of how Japanese people borrow elements of Western culture and incorporate them into traditional Japanese life.



Our local shrine is a small place, and the priest (who also works a full-time job) is a relative of H's. He was waiting for us at the shrine, and we all took off our shoes and went up the wooden steps to join him inside.


Shinto shrines don't really have services or group worship like churches do, and people only usually enter the actual building when they are taking part in a ceremony such as a wedding or blessing. At other times, visitors just throw a small coin into the large wooden offering box at the entrance and say a brief prayer. You can see a couple of women doing just that behind us here:

The priest started the ceremony by drumming, and then prayed and blessed us all. We placed an offering of a small branch on the altar (visible in the background of the photo below), and finally, H's mum dabbed T's lips with sake (in the photo above).

This photo is a bit blurry but I love K's excited expression as he tells me something, and the look on the priest's face as he gazes at T.

And here we all are, looking very much as we did at K's ceremony; I for one am wearing exactly the same clothes... H, on the other hand, informed me that morning that apart from his very formal, weddings-and-funerals suit, he had not a single suit that didn't have fraying cuffs, hems or pockets. Looks like we'd better go shopping...


K had fun posing for the camera with the priest's hat and ... whatever that wooden thing they carry is...


The most popular type of cherry blossom finished flowering weeks ago, but there was a different kind in full bloom in the shrine grounds. It was a sunny and warm day, but very windy. At least in this photo you can actually see T's face!


After the ceremony, which only took about 30 minutes including the photo shoot, we all went out for lunch together. Then on Tuesday we dressed up again and went to the photographers to have some professional photos taken. I wanted to go on the same day as the shrine visit, but we couldn't get an appointment at the studio so it got delayed a couple of days. We should get the photos in 2 weeks, so I'll scan them into the computer and give you a peek then...

Here's one they made earlier...

The other day I wrote that I drove a 2 tonne truck loaded with wood back from the home centre. It was a desperate attempt to garner a few curious comments but it seems that you all have more interesting things to wonder about. Never mind, I'll tell you about it anyway...


My parents have never been people to sit around and relax when there's work to be done. After a couple of weeks here, they were in need of A Project and so plans were sketched on scraps of paper for a fence for the back garden, complete with 3 gates. As it was, there was nothing to stop K going around either side of the house and out to the road, and there is also quite a drop at the end and one side of the garden too. Here it is, in its 'Before' splendour:


So after a couple of trips to the home centre, the workers got down to it. Driving the truck back was my sole contribution I'm afraid, but K was keen to help...

Tools were borrowed from H's dad and his cousin, who both live nearby. About the only useful things we had in the toolbox were a screwdriver, a hacksaw and a tape measure (which was a present from Dad in the first place, as was the toolbox itself!).

There is a gate either side of the house, and another in the bottom corner of the garden to enable H to take his shortcut to the bus stop. The gates all fasten on the outside (non-garden side) so that K will be unable to escape once he's out there.

As well as its enclosing and wind-blocking properties, I think the fence looks really good too. It also makes our small collection of plants and shrubs around the edge of the lawn stand out more as well, inspiring me to plant some more. Not that I have yet of course, but I am inspired to do so.

Mum and Dad have returned to the UK now, and K has had a couple of sessions playing in the fenced-in garden. I can close up the garden gates and open the sliding glass doors from the dining area out onto the patio so that K can come in and out freely. It's like having another big room added to the house!

The weather hasn't been as good as you'd expect for this season lately, but it seems to be improving now. Hopefully that'll mean more playtime in the garden soon, and a chance for H and I to do our bit to the fence - staining it. We have at least bought the stain, so that's a good start, right?

(Apologies to Mum and Dad for tagging this post 'things we made', as if I did anything at all...)

A Family Day Out

Mum and Dad have been here for 2 weeks now but they have barely left the house, except to visit me in hospital last week or go to the supermarket. A trip to the home centre has probably been the biggest outing so far, so we thought we'd better make the effort to do something yesterday.

After lunch in town we drove out to Saihaku, about 30 minutes from home. The cherry blossoms along the river there were in full bloom, and the weather was better than it looks in some of these photos...

To coincide with the cherry blossoms, the town holds a small festival where townspeople display sculptures or models they have made using things from their house such as lacquer ware or ceramics. People make the displays in their homes and then open up the big windows onto the street so that everyone can see them. Here we have K studying a figure made of lacquer lunchboxes and bowls...

...and here are a couple of pandas made from baskets:

As this is the year of the rabbit, there were several rabbit-themed displays. This one shows rabbits pounding rice to make mochi. Whereas in the West we say there is a face visible in the full moon, in Japan the patterns on the moon are said to show rabbits making mochi. These rabbits here were made from traditional Japanese footwear: wooden geta sandals can be seen in the centre, the rabbits clothes are made from the colourful thongs of zori sandals and the white parts are tabi, the divided cotton socks worn with sandals.

In this prefecture there is a well-known folktale about a white rabbit, so he popped up a lot in the festival. This one is made from small bowls and dishes, wired together.


K enjoyed looking at all the displays, and running around looking for the red lanterns and numbers which marked the participating houses. T, meanwhile, spent the entire afternoon sleeping in his pushchair...

Finally we made it back to the primary school, where we had parked the car, and there was just time for a quick go on the swings before we headed home again...

K is 3!

K turned 3 on Saturday. Where did all that time go? It doesn't seem that long ago that we took that sweet little baby photo but, on the other hand, it's sometimes hard to remember our life before he came along.

The day started with a pancake breakfast for us all...


... followed by opening cards...

... including one featuring Maisy! Well done H for finding that :-)

Then it was present time. K got 2 different sets of jigsaws, which had to be tried out immediately, with a little help from Mummy and Daddy...

He was very excited to get this dinosaur too, but later declared that he didn't like it. Apparently, he likes 'eating grass dinosaurs', not 'eating other dinosaur dinosaurs'.

Last week I appliqued a couple of T-shirts for him. He wasn't bothered about the one with a tie but I don't mind, it was mainly for my benefit. When he saw the grey shirt, he said 'Ooh! A pig!'. Hmm... Later in the day though he changed his mind, and declared it a dinosaur. Phew.

Note to self: stick to simple shapes for applique. Ties - good. Triceratops - bad.

H's parents and aunt and uncle happened to be going out for lunch so we gate-crashed that, and then we headed off to the park for monkey-watching...

... a visit to the planetarium...

... and general playing.

We went to the same park on K's birthday last year too, although I notice that he didn't need his coat then. Skip over the next photo quickly if you're of a nervous disposition...

A quick stop at the supermarket for speedy party food (mainly pizza, fried stuff and crab) and then back home just in time to greet H's parents, brother and his girlfriend. The crown came out again...

...and the food and drink went down well.

Unlike last year, K was very aware of the fact that his birthday was coming this year, and he specifically requested a chocolate cake (inspired by, yes, Maisy) with 3 candles. When I asked him what he wanted to do on his birthday, he replied 'blow' (as in '..out candles'). So H and I made this cake one evening a couple of days ago, and I quickly whipped up some cream to decorate it just before our guests arrived:

He was Very Excited when we turned down the lights and brought out the cake and, after I demonstrated by blowing out the first candle, he happily blew out the other 2. I think the cake (which he described as 'another present!') may have been the highlight of the day for K - even today I caught him telling someone that he had chocolate cake on his birthday...