49 Days

H's grandfather passed away in the summer while we were in the UK. He was 95 years old and had been in hospital for several months, but it was nonetheless sad news to receive and it was unfortunate that we couldn't attend the funeral. Last weekend though, we went to the 49 day ceremony.

In Japan, funerals are usually held in the Buddhist style; the deceased is cremated and the ashes are kept in the home until 49 days have passed. At the end of that period a ceremony for the family is held and the ashes are placed in the family grave.

We all turned out our best formal wear, and K got his first shirt and tie...


I thought I was very organised, sending my black dress and jacket to the dry cleaners in plenty of time. Then I realised that if I wore that, I wouldn't be able to feed T... So I turned out my old black trouser suit. One of the legs needed hemming and I had to move the button a bit (ahem) but it didn't look bad for something I bought (ahem) 13 years ago.

The ceremony was held at H's grandparents' house and consisted of a Buddhist priest coming to the house and chanting in front of the altar which had been set up to hold the ashes, a photo of H's grandfather, various edible offerings and incense. We were each given a prayer book to join in, but I can never read it quick enough to keep up. After a while T started to get a bit noisy so we snuck off to another room, joining another noisy great-grandchild and her mum.

After that we all went to the graveyard, placed the urns of ashes in the grave and offered more incense. Then it was time for another little chanting session in the temple before we all, priest included, headed off for a meal together. We all ate a typical traditional Japanese meal except for K, who had the 'kid's lunch' option. I'm not sure what age of 'kid' these meals are designed for, but I suspect that a lot of adults would have had difficulty finishing this lot...

As the evening progressed everyone relaxed and enjoyed the chance for the extended family to get together. There are similar memorial services held at regular intervals in the years following a death in the family and I always think that it's a wonderful idea. The immediate sadness of a funeral has passed and instead the family can enjoy each other's company and reminisce about the person who passed away.

My favourite 'only in Japan' moment? K pouring beer for the priest...

As with all formal ceremonies in Japan, there was gift-exchanging involved. We gave an envelope of money covering the costs of our meals and a contribution to the temple fees, as well as a bit extra to round it up and be a true 'gift'. However we came home with a goodie bag containing a box of rice crackers, a box of Beatrix Potter themed sticks of sugar (perfect for offering to guests with their coffee) and a large digital clock. The clock, now sitting on our living room window ledge, is complete with date, temperature and humidity level so I can now offer you accurate weather information at any time day or night. Right now? 3:36pm, 25 degrees and 65% humidity. In other words, just about right for me...

Hair today, gone tomorrow

OK, so that should really be 'Beard today, gone tomorrow', but that wouldn't have been funny.

Unlike the title I wrote which is obviously hilarious.

And that last picture? No, it's not a super-long piece of streaky bacon. I'll show you later...

Happy Anniversary!

Today is our wedding anniversary. Well, one of them.

Like a lot of 'international couples' here in Japan, we have several. We had a wedding ceremony here in the July and then another one in the UK in September. Oh, but we were legally married in the June... On that day, I wasn't even there. I had signed the blank papers when I saw H the previous weekend, and then he filled in the rest and handed it all in while I was at work 100km away. He could have written anybody's name in the 'groom' section and I would have been married to them. Eek.

Anyway, whichever way you look at it, today is an anniversary of sorts, and the 10th one to boot. 10 years! According to British websites, it's the aluminium anniversary; several American sites I saw list 10 years as diamond. I wonder what this tells us about differences in spending habits between Americans and Brits - luxury jewellery versus roll of baking foil...

Not to outdone by that, I presented H with some chocolate and salami bought at the convenience store on the way back from taking K to preschool this morning. He, in turn, gave me a mole-bashing keyring. Cool.

Yes, the photos are rubbish, but look at that will you? I squashed that pesky mole and took a photo of it at the same time. I rock.

H and I did go out for a meal together in July, to celebrate 10th Anniversary Mark One. Just as well really, as H put K to bed 2 hours ago and fell asleep himself too...

Summer 2011: Royal Cornwall Show

At long last, a post about our trip to the UK. There will be more, I promise...

The Royal Cornwall Show is a big deal in Cornwall. It's a 3 day agricultural show usually held at the beginning of June and I used to go there every year when I was growing up. Since leaving home I've only been once, when it was rescheduled due to terrible weather, so it was great to be able to go this year and to introduce it to H and the boys.

I don't think H was really prepared for the scale of it all, judging by the number of photos like this that he took...




While it's termed an agricultural show, there's a lot more to it than that. We started with the Flower Tent, a mix of trade displays and competition entries. Flower arrangements, obviously...

... but also children's classes. I remember entering collages, miniature gardens and, yes, flower arrangements when I was at primary school.

This year, with a 3 year old in tow, we mainly looked at the animals. We spent some time sheltering from the rain in the poultry tent...







... and saw other animals including (but not limited to) cows, goats, sheep...



... dogs, horses, pigs...



... bees, donkeys, rabbits...

... birds of prey, and alpacas! Do you know much about alpacas? They are like llamas, but generally bred for their wool. They seem to be the latest thing in the UK now, we saw them everywhere. They look rather comical when they've just been shorn...

I always like to visit the Women's Institute and Young Farmers Club tents. Each branch within the county competes against the others to decorate a booth on a set theme. The display must include elements of handicrafts, cookery and flower arrangement. This year the YFC theme was 'Disney' and here is the winning 'Alice in Wonderland' display:



I think that H was more interested in the 'Animal Made From Vegetables' contest though...



Of course there were also lots of things to watch in the show rings throughout the day, including the judging of the various animals, show-jumping, dog agility competitions, a motorbike display team, parachuting (sadly cancelled due to the weather) and the rather disappointing camel polo:

Now then, what else?

Well, food; all kinds of yummy and generally unhealthy fairground-type delicacies. Crafts; lots of stalls selling wonderful handmade goodies. A fairground, a collection of traction engines, displays of falconry and fly fishing, horse whispering and Cornish wrestling... and then there are all the things that I didn't see!

And don't forget the trade stands of machinery, great fun for a little boy...

Just look at the size of this combine!

K collected lots of stickers, had a go at milking a (not real) cow and even got to sit in the air ambulance...

We spent a very full day at the show and must have walked miles, but K never flagged and even ran back to the car at the end of the day.

Oh, and T was there too, poor little un-photographed baby...

The boys

I thought that maybe those of you who haven't seen us for several months might like to see some pictures of the boys...

Lovely, smiley little T is almost 6 months old now!


He likes to roll over onto his tummy, but hasn't quite mastered rolling back again yet so I spend a lot of time rescuing him and turning him over. He's quite happy to have a cuddle with anyone, but really doesn't like to lose sight of me nowadays - definitely Mummy's Boy.


Just a few days ago we started him on some solid food - very wet, soft rice. The first time he looked a bit bemused; the second time he was leaning towards the spoon with an open mouth; the third time, he was grabbing the spoon himself and pulling it towards his mouth!



K is now 3 and a half, and is really into drawing and writing. Before we went to the UK he wasn't really interested in that kind of thing but now he's very keen and can write a lot of letters without any help. He does like to deliberately write 'strange letters' too though...



When he's concentrating he can do some quite good faces too...



I'm not sure if it's the current haircut, or just in comparison with T, but K seems to have suddenly become a Proper Little Boy in my eyes. He's definitely grown taller over the summer, and naughtier too I'm afraid...

Here he is pointing out a big spider in the garden:



Can you see it? Have a closer look...



And while we're on the subject of boys, here's H. He may look different to you too, because he's been cultivating a beard while he's been on leave. I think it was more of a 'I don't have to shave' thing than a conscious beard-growing policy, but I think it suits him...



When we had some hot weather in the UK he wore jinbei, traditional Japanese clothes that are often worn nowadays by artists and craftsmen. Along with the beard and sandals I think he looks as if he's just stepped away from the potter's wheel. I think he'd be too embarrassed to dress like this here in Japan, but I rather like the look - what do you think?

Keeping cool

Although it's cooler now than it was here in August, the temperature is still hitting the 30s and the humidity is high. Being in the shade does help though, so we called H's mum and dad the other day and got them to come over and help put up our gazebo (or tent-with-no-sides as it's known around here).

Then it was time to blow up the paddling pool and splash about!


Lately K has been bothered about water going in his eyes so I gave him my goggles to wear, which he found hilarious. I offered him his swimsuit but he opted for underpants instead :-)

The goggles came off after a while... as did the pants. But I won't embarrass Future Teenage K by putting those pictures here!

Our other cooling off project was digging for Ice Treasure. I've seen this idea on several blogs over the last few years and always thought I'd have a go at it sometime. I collected various items of treasure from around the house (coins, buttons, beads, pebbles, odd little plastic toys from Christmas crackers and so on) and froze them into a big block of ice.

Then K set to with his tools, a spoon and my pastry brush to get them all out! We worked on it together and enjoyed guessing which things would be freed next. The hammer and the brush were especially useful, as was the occasional spoonful of warm paddling pool water. The beauty of this activity is that if it gets a bit frustrating you can just do something else for 5 minutes and when you come back it will be easier!

I think I must have got a bit carried away in preparing this because, after about an hour of fine work by K, there was still about half of it left! K had had enough by then, so the ice block has gone back in the freezer for another day.

And of course T supervised it all...

Getting back into the old routines...

After more than a week back here, I think that we've finally got settled in again. Mind you, we're not really back into the old routines because H is still on leave until the end of the month and, oh yes, we've got a second child to look after now!

People who were here all summer tell me that it was particularly hot this year and that the weather at the moment is much cooler, but I'm not convinced. To me, it's a question of comparing 'extremely hot' and merely 'very, very hot'; I can't see that today's temperature of 32 degrees, with high humidity, can be any great improvement. When I leave our air-conditioned living room to go out into the corridor, it feels like walking into a greenhouse...

Broken nights and extreme climate notwithstanding, we've done quite a lot over the last week I think. K went to school on Tuesday and Thursday and I taught one class on each of those days too. We visited H's grandmother (his grandfather passed away while we were gone), took T for his BCG vaccination and a rather belated 3 month check-up, visited several car showrooms, took the boys to the play centre, popped into English School, broke out the paddling pool, ate out a lot and even made the tiniest start on Clearing Out Cupboards...

The next big challenge is to rustle up enough energy to tackle the thousands of photos from the UK. Wish me luck!

We're back!

You may have noticed that I didn't quite manage to follow my plan to post once a week during our trip to the UK.... But, if there is still anyone actually out there reading this, I thought that you might like to know that we went, had a great time and have arrived home safely again.

We got back here on Thursday night but so far have managed little more than unpacking, laundry, going out to eat and avoiding the typhoon. We've all been hit by jet-lag and of course when the little boys don't sleep, neither do I. K is fast asleep in bed now though, so keep your fingers crossed for a good night tonight.

And as for our actual trip? Well, I do intend to show you lots of pictures and tell you all about it in excruciating detail but just in case I don't (imagine that eh?), here's a little summary...

We spent three months based at my parents' house in Cornwall, visiting lots of friends and family and showing off lovely baby T (and his big brother too of course). While we were there, H, T and I went on two little mini-holidays, to Edinburgh and to Prague, leaving K at home with his doting grandparents. We also spent a few days in Wales visiting my sister and her partner, stayed with friends near Oxford for a while, and met up with another old friend in Gloucester. We had lots of lovely days out with Mum and Dad, H and I went out for dinner together a couple of times without children, I went to my school reunion and sometimes the weather was even good enough for a barbecue! And of course there was lots of shopping: clothes, toys and books for K and T, and an extra suitcase to try and get some of it back to Japan...